Used to Know
by Spxcekiid
Summary: When Gamzee leaves, Karkat has to deal with his shitty life alone. Finally after four years, they are reunited. But is Gamzee still the same person that Karkat knew? GamKar JohnKat Humanstuck AU
1. Prologue: My Life Story

**Honestly, I don't know what this is. ._. All I know is that this is my OTP and ever since I got to the Shoosh Pap scene I've been DESPERATELY wanting to create a GamKar story...so...yeah... ._. **

**Also, sorry about this chapter. I HATE SECOND PERSON, so therefore this is the ONLY chapter that will be written like it. The rest will be third person. **

**Disclaimer: I is no Hussie God...I create no HS D: **

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><p><strong>Prologue: My Life Story <strong>

**Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you are only THREE YEARS OLD. You LOVE AQUATIC ANIMALS, preferably CRABS. Your two favorite colours are GRAY and RED. You have an extremely BAD TEMPER and you YELL ALL THE TIME. You HATE TO BE TOUCHED, unless it's from your MOTHER. You also HATE LOUD NOISES, especially THUNDERSTORMS. You HAVE NO FRIENDS, because you are only THREE and no one in your family is around your AGE. Because of your young age, you are totally UNAWARE that your PARENTS are TOO YOUNG to RAISE CHILDREN. **

You are in the living room, drawing a picture of a crab, when you hear your grandmother call your name, you look up and walk in the dining room.

"I'm just thinking what's best for you and him, dear." Your grandmother says to your mother. You are old enough to know that whatever they are talking about, they don't want you to hear it, so you back away just a little bit.

"I don't need you to look out for him. I'll put him in a daycare as soon as Roy gets a job."

"And how long will that be?" your grandmother states, sounding a little irritated. "He's been saying that for the past two and a half years now. Please sweetie, your'e only seventeen. You should be focusing more on school work and getting into a nice college. What if Roy-"

"Don't even start that, mom!" your mother yells. "Roy loves me.I know we'll be together forever. He's looking for a job right now. I already told you I can handle being in school and taking care of Karkat. And things will get ten times better once Roy gets a job, and then I'll put him in a daycare"

You didn't hear your grandmother reply, just the sink running as she was probably washing dishes. You didn't understand anything, you don't even know that Roy is the name of your father. You are also confused what a "daycare" is. You decide to just shrug it off and go back to drawing your crab.

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><p><strong>You are now FIVE YEARS OLD and still LOVE CRABS and the colours RED and GRAY. Your temper has GOTTEN WORSE ever since you began going to PRESCHOOL when you were four. You are now starting to UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR PARENTS MAY NOT BE AS HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER AS YOU ALWAYS THOUGHT. You started going to KINDERGARTEN a few months ago, and you HATE IT more than PRESCHOOL. The kids there are all LOUD and OBNOXIOUS, and many of them LAUGH AT YOU because of your EYE COLOUR; which is a DEEP AUBURN that almost LOOKS RED. You YELL AT them, but they JUST LAUGH and call you RED EYES. You only have ONE FRIEND named SOLLUX CAPTOR. When people laugh at you, you hide in a corner and CRY. <strong>

"Karkat, sweetie, what's wrong?" you don't look up at you questioning mother, just sluggily walk to your room. She comes in a couple minutes later and sits on your bed. "Please talk to me, baby. What happened?"

"I hate school!" You yell, wiping your eyes. "I don't wanna go anymore."

Your mother sighs and pets your hair. "You need to get over that, sweetie. There are really mean people in this world and no one can't do anything about it. You just have to walk away."

Your mother's advice doesn't help. No matter how much you wish you could just walk away, you can't. People are treating you horribly just because of your eye colour, and just because your temper gets so out of hand so easily. Your father is barely ever home, and when he is, he completely ignores you. Your mother looks sad all the time, but when you ask her what's wrong, she just smiles and says that it's fine. Nothing seems right.

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><p><strong>You are SEVEN YEARS OLD and STILL HAVE THE SAME INTERESTS AND ATTITUDE that you did when you were FIVE. You went to THE BEACH with your grandmother and got a little HERMIT CRAB. People still MAKE FUN OF YOUR EYES, but you have gotten SO USED TO IT, that you DON'T CARE. Ever since the first grade, you have gained TWO MORE FRIENDS, a girl named TEREZI PYROPE and a boy named JOHN EGBERT. Your PARENTS FIGHT CONSTANTLY, and from what JOHN told you about DIVORCE, you are starting to get SCARED. <strong>

Another night that you are curled up in your blankets, with a pillow covering your head. You are trying to block out your parent's screaming, which gets louder and louder by every minute. They yell about many things; money, job, school, even you. Every time you hear your name you cringe. It feels as if they are fighting because it is all your fault. You try to stretch back your memory, back to when you were just a baby, but it doesn't work. Everything that happened when you were three and younger is all a daze, and you don't remember any of it. As you hear your father scream out a line of curse words, you bury your face in the matress and cry.

"Karkat? Sweetie can you come out in the living room? Your father and I need to talk to you." You get up from your desk after feeding your pet crab and go in the living room, sitting down on the couch.

Your father sighs as your mother looks down at the ground. "Karkat...We have made a huge decision...that is going to effect the three of us; especially you." your father starts.

"...W-we decided that we're not going to live with each other anymore." you mother stutters, tearing up.

"...A divorce?" you question bluntly. Both of your parents look surprised. Your father nods

"Where did you learn that word, son?"

"J-john said...that's what happened to his parents."

"It's...It's only for the best, sweetie."

You ignore your mother and go back to your room and take the small hermit crab out of it's aquarium. You hold it gently in your hand and look out the window of the big city lights. The apartment's too small and it makes you feel cramped. But this city's too big, and it makes you feel small. You lean your head against the window and let the tears stream down your face. You can't help but to feel that this is all your fault.

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><p><strong>You just turned TEN YEARS OLD and you DON'T feel any OLDER THAN FIVE. Your MOTHER moved to the COUNTRY SIDE OF NEW YORK and your FATHER STILL STAYED in the small apartment IN MANHATTEN. Although you are only there during the SUMMER and EVERY OTHER WEEKEND, you would prefer to live WITH YOUR MOTHER than YOUR FATHER. Speaking of which, your father is starting to drink REALLY WIERD THINGS, that SMELLS AND TASTES REPULSIVE. You HATE when he drinks it, because he ACTS COMPLETELY different. He also smokes A LOT MORE NOW, including SNORTING AN ODD POWDER UP HIS NOSE and TAKING SHOTS. You QUESTION HIM, and he merely tells you that it's ALL JUST MEDICINE. <strong>

"Where the fuck have you been?" your father screams as you enter your apartment on Sunday afternoon.

"I-I told you I was spending the weekend with John." you reply, sort of confused. He even talked to John's father about it.

"You could've motherfucking called me when you were getting home!" He was drunk, and you knew it. He never yells at you, let alone talk to you, when he's completely sober.

"I'm sorry I'll do it next time." you murmur going in your room to feed your hermit crab. Your father comes in and snatches the crab out of your hands "Your'e about to fucking start middle school in a fucking year, Karkat! Why the mother FUCK do you still have this piece of shit? It's not even a real fucking pet! It's time for you to fucking GROW UP!" he slammed the crab down on the hardwood floor and stomped on it, shattering it to piecies. "NOO!" you scream and get down on your knees, crying at the lifeless shattered hermit. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT, DAD?" you yell, and he automatically slapped your face. "DON'T YOU FUCKING YELL AT ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH! IT'S ALL YOUR MOTHER FUCKING FAULT THAT YOUR MOTHER'S GONE! IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!" he pulled you by your hair and began to punch you in the face. Once your nose began to stream out blood, he threw you on the floor and kicked you in the stomach.

"Your'e not going ANYWHERE for the next THREE WEEKS! And pick up your room! It's a fucking mess!" Your father screamed and slammed the door. You rolled onto your stomach and cried. Your eye hurt, and you knew that it was going to be black tomorrow. It's never gotten this bad. He's only slapped you. Your mother told you that if he ever hurts you then call her, but, you are completely terrified.

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><p><strong>Now your are TWELVE YEARS OLD and your interests have gone up to Romantic movies, RomComs, and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You also like COMPUTERS, although you are NOT EXACTLY THE BEST AT HANDLING THEM. You are in the SEVENTH GRADE, and DATING TEREZI PYROPE. However, you can't help but to NOTICE that you have FEELINGS for JOHN EGBERT. Because of middle school, your CIRCLE OF FRIENDS INCREASED, and since you DO NOT LIKE TO GO HOME because of your FATHER'S BEATINGS OVER THE SMALLEST THINGS, you and your friends usually HANG OUT ON THE STREETS.<strong>

You smile and wave to Sollux and John and give Terezi a hug as the four of you begin to walk home. The only time you feel happy is when your'e with them or any of your other friends. You try to ignore the odd feelings you have for John as you think that it's probably just some odd sign of puberty.

You merely pull your hood up and begin walking back to the apartment. Just as you enter an alley way, a group of teenagers stop you. One looks oddly familier. He sneers at you. "So your that fucking kid." he snapped.

You merely tilt your head to the side, not understanding what the hell this douchebag is talking about.

"My brother's been complainin' bout some fuckin' short pale ass red eyed freak, and I personally don't like the shit he's been telling me about you."

"Well he shouldn't fuck around me so goddamn much!" you bark, making the teenager laugh.

"Who the fuck wouldn't? Have you looked at yourself in the fucking mirror latley? Your a freak!"

Next thing you know, your on the floor, as the four high schoolers begin to gang up on you, punching you in the face and kicking your lower body. You begin to feel dizzy and light headed. The random bursts of pain stops, and you open your eyes slightly. Despite your blurred vision, you see another highschooler, pushing away the others, talking with a slurred sounding voice; but all you can really hear is "motherfuckin' ". The figure came closer, but at that moment, everything went black.

You awoke; not in an alley, not on the streets, but, in a bed. A warm, soft bed that was definately not yours. You shot straight up, and automatically felt a pain in your whole body. "Whoa motherfucker. Relax a little. Your muscles are all up and too strained to be movin' around." He looked at the odd teenager sitting on the edge of the bed. He gently pushed you down and you stared at him in agape. His eyes were so dark blue, they almost looked purple, or maybe indigo. He had a warm smile on and there were three long scratches that went down on his face. "Where am I? Wh-who are you?" you stuttered.

"I'm Gamzee Makara. You're at my motherfuckin' house, brother. I couldn't just all up and leave you in that alley." the teenager said.

"I-I'm Karkat Vantas." you murmur, "if you don't mind me asking but, what happened to your face?"

"Ehh. Just a bad car wreck when I was little. No big deal." Gamzee said, smiling. "What were you doing in that alley? Your'e all up and definately too young to be wanderin' around this motherfuckin' city."

"I was walking home FUCK! What time is it?" You ask.

"9:30. But don't worry. Your dad all up and texted you and I just said that you were at one of your friend's house."

"...which friend?"

"John. All your other friends had some wierd ass motherfuckin' names I had no idea which one was a boy or girl. And I'm guessing your old man would rather you bein all up and stayin' at a dude's house...unless your'e gay and he knows it."

You flush at the word "gay". For the past three weeks, you've been questioning your sexuality, since you've been having these odd feelings for John. Gamzee notices and chuckles. "So...you're motherfuckin' gay?"

"N-no! ...I...I dunno..."

"It's all up an' alright if you are, I won't judge a motherfucker. If you need anyone to talk to, talk to me. You're my motherfuckin' bro now." Gamzee said, with a big grin on his face.

You couldn't help but smile back.

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><p><strong>You are FOURTEEN YEARS and you now claim that you are BISEXUAL. Your father STILL BEATS YOU, but you have gotten so used to it that you don't even care anymore. You hang out with Gamzee QUITE FREQUENTLY, and when you are at your mother's house, you TEXT HIM CONSTANTLY. Once he even SPENT THE SUMMER WITH YOU. And that was THE BEST SUMMER OF YOUR LIFE. You found out that he is TWO YEARS OLDER THAN YOU. When you have to talk to someone, Gamzee's there. You tell him EVERTHING. You tell him about your FATHER, your FEELINGS towards JOHN, and how you think that the reason why your father is a junky and your parents divorced is ALL YOUR FAULT. Unlike any of your other friends, GAMZEE LISTENS. And he doesn't JOKE ABOUT IT later on. He LISTENS and gives you LOGICAL ADVICE. You know if it WASN'T FOR GAMZEE, you'd probably be in EXTREME DEPRESSION. <strong>

Something felt completly off all day. You tapped your pencil on your desk and checked your phone. Gamzee hasn't texted you yet, and your starting to get a little worried. You haven't heard from him for three days nor seen him around; not even in school.

But besides that you haven't seen your best bro something else was off. Was it the weather? Or was it the fact that you found your father passed out in the living room with a bottle of empty vodka. You didn't know. Something wasn't right. And you were about to find out.

As soon as you walk in your house, your father strikes you hard on the face with a glass bottle. "WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO NOW?" you scream.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE! YOUR MOTHER'S FUCKING DEAD! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! SHE FUCKING HUNG HERSELF YOU LITTLE SON OF BITCH!"

"How is it my fault?" You cry, tears automatically streaming down your face.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! BEFORE YOU WERE BORN SHE USED TO BE HAPPY! SHE USED TO BE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! THEN YOU WERE BORN AND YOU FUCKED UP HER WHOLE LIFE!"

"It's your fault for not wearing a goddamned condom you asshole!" you yell, and earned a punch in the nose for it.

"She should've gotten a god damned abortion, like I fucking told her to! We would still be together, we would've gone to college, we wouldn't have your motherfucking dumbass holding us down!" his screams got louder, his beats got more and more painful, and you finally punched him back and ran out the apartment.

"Gamzee?" You ask, going to the alley that you two always hang out at after school. He was no where in sight, you bit your lip hard and texted him.

_HEY, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? _

No reply.

_GAMZEE, SERIOUSLY. I REALLY NEED TO FUCKING TALK RIGHT NOW!_

_C'MON FUCKASS I REALLY NEED YOU! _

_whos this? my names not gamzee. _

You widen your eyes. Did he get a new number and not tell you?

_SORRY. WRONG NUMBER._

You put your phone back in your pocket and go to Gamzee's house. Your legs gave out as you saw the giant sign in front of the house that said: **SOLD.**

You put your face in your hands and screamed as loud as you could. He told you he was moving, but you didn't think it'd be so soon. He never mentioned anything about getting a new number.

You stayed there on your knees, screaming and crying your eyes out. Everything really was your fault.

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><p><strong>You are SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD, now a SENIOR. Ever since your mother's death and Gamzee's disappearence, you have been EXTREMELY AND UTTERLY DEPRESSED. You claim yourself as 100 PERCENT GAY. You STILL have FEELINGS FOR JOHN, which makes you even more depressed because he claims that he is NOT A HOMOSEXUAL. You still have the SAME FRIENDS, and gained A COUPLE MORE. But NONE OF THEM compare to the RELATIONSHIP YOU HAD WITH GAMZEE. Ever since your mother's death, your FATHER BEATS YOU even more VIOLENTLY. The only thing that you are able to do about it is RUN AWAY TO JOHN'S HOUSE and CRY IN HIS LAP. <strong>

"Why don't you just tell someone?" John asks as you lean on his shoulder, wiping your tears off on his shirt.

"I'm scared that he'll do something. I'm scared that...that he'll fucking...k-kill me..."

John sighed and pet your hair, automatically calming you down. "I miss my mom..."

"I know you do."

"I miss Gamzee..."

"Yeah I know."

The awkward tension was getting to you, so you looked up at the blue eyed boy that you've known for almost your whole fucking life. "John...I...I..." your'e stammering, mainly because you didn't think that confessing your true feelings would be this hard. Gamzee always told you to do it, but since he was gone, you didn't see the reason to. "What, Kar?" John asked.

You didn't know what to do, so you crashed your lips against his. He widened his eyes for a minute, but seemed to finally give in. After a couple of minutes he pushes you away. "K-karkat...I...I'm not a homosexual..."

"Why the fuck does it matter John? I like you...a lot..."

He didn't reply. He just looked down at the ground. "Well I mean...I never gave it a try...I do kinda sorta get jealous when I see Dave with Terezi...I...I guess I'll try it..." John murmured.

You half smiled and hugged him. He quickly kissed you on the cheek and giggled. You nuzzled your face on his shoulder and sighed contently.

You got what you wanted, but why do you still feel emptly in the inside?

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><p><strong>You are now EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. Ever since you've been dating John, life has gotten a LITTLE BETTER. But now you're about to go to COLLEGE, which means that you WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR FATHER. You are happy, you feel completely content, you're HAPPIER than you have EVER been since that SUMMER WITH GAMZEE. You had JUST GRADUATED FIVE HOURS AGO. WHAT WILL YOU DO? <strong>

**Karkat: Pack up for college ==== **

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><p><strong>I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT SHITTY ENDING! <strong>

**Don't worry, this is the ONLY chapter that is written like this. The rest is going to be third person. Also they won't be this fucking long...god my fingers hurt 0_o **


	2. Chapter 1: Somewhere I Belong

**So the song that inspired me to write this was 'Somebody That I Used To Know' by Gotye. It's really talking about a bad break up and how the chick is cutting the guy off completely; so it's actually not like this story :I Unless if you don't look at the song relationship wise and just best friend wise. **

**Chapter 1: Somewhere I Belong **

Karkat pulled out his phone as he felt it starting to vibrate. It was Sollux.

_KK. Where the hell are you? _

_I'M WALKING HOME. I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH ALL THE FUCKING PEOPLE AT THE PARTY _

Karkat hated the fact that his phone was forever in caps. Once Gamzee had accidently fell on top of his phone and broke the caps button.

_God you're 2o antii2ocial_

_I JUST DON'T FUCKING LIKE CROWDS. PLUS I JUST WANNA PACK NOW AND GET IT THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY._

_Why now we got all fuckiing summer._

_JOHN AND I ARE GOING TO HIS BRO'S HOUSE ALL SUMMER. _

_Oh well 2hiit you could've told me 2ooner. Ii gue22 Ii'll 2ee you when 2chool 2tart2._

Karkat put his phone back in his pocket and pulled his hood over his head. He couldn't wait to get out of here. And what was best was that he wouldn't have to spend the whole summer at his home, near his father. He'd be several miles away, just what he wanted.

The eighteen year old went up to his apartment and straight to his room and began packing, looking at his phone when it began vibrating.

_Karkittyyy where are youuu? :( _

_HEY JOHN, SORRY. ALMOST ALL OF MY FUCKING TEACHERS SINCE FRESHMAN YEAR CAME UP TO CONGRATULATE ME AND SHIT. PLUS ALL THE GODDAMN CROWDS AND SHIT. I'M PACKING UP RIGHT NOW. _

_Mkay~ just hurry up I'm booooored ;) _

Karkat smirked and put his phone back in his pocket and began packing at a much faster pace. Once three of his bags were completely filled with clothes and almost everything else that he absolutely needed he went out to the living room, only stopping when his father approached him.

"Where the fuck are you goin'?" his father slurred with irritation and anger in his voice.

He didn't know a thing about Karkat going to college. He didn't even know that he got a scholarship. Karkat rolled his eyes and made his away to the door, murmuring, "Away from your fuckass."

Once he had said that his father threw his half empty bottle of gin at the cancer, leaving scratches on his cheek and jawline. "Your'e not going anywhere you little shit!"

"The fuck I am!" Karkat snapped "I'm going to motherfucking make something out of my life, unlike your lazy fuckass! besides, shouldn't you be so goddamned thrilled that I'm going?" He took his bags and walked down the long hallway of the apartment.

"KARKAT!" he heard his father yelled. "GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASS BACK HERE NOW!"

"FUCK NO! I'VE BEEN PUTTING UP WITH YOUR BULLSHIT FOR EIGHT FUCKING YEARS NOW. Well guess what dad? I'm motherfucking eighteen now! You can't tell me shit!" the Cancer walked out as fast as he could, getting a taxi to John's house.

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><p>"Oh my gosh! Baby, what happened?" John asked as he opened the door for Karkat, seeing the scratches on his face. Karkat walked in and wiped the blood off of his face.<p>

"My dad was drunk again."

John sighed and brought the latter to his bathroom and began treating his wounds. "You're so lucky we're leaving tomorrow. I can't stand him doing this to you!" The blue eyed teen exclaimed, "I'm surprised you only have that one scar."

The Cancer ran his fingers through the small, almost completely faded scar that was on his on his upper cheek and curved all the way past the corner of his lip down to his chin. His father didn't give it to him, however. That night when he found out that Gamzee had moved without a word and his mother's death, he punched his bathroom mirror so hard that it had shattered to pieces. He then got the biggest one and quickly slashed his face. It was the first time he has ever seen blood, and the sight made him automatically faint. He woke up hours later in the hospital bed, with stitches on his face. His father then threatened that if he pulled that shit again he'd send him to a mental institute.

"Karkat?" the auburn eyed teen was snapped out of his thoughts as he heard his name. John smiled slightly at him and wrapped his arms around his neck. "You don't have to worry about him anymore, baby. You're here now. Just relax." he laced their fingers together and took him to his room.

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><p>The next morning they caught a plane to Raliegh, North Carolina. John's older brother Jake lived there, and he said the two can live there during the summer until they got a dorm. It was a little cramped since it was only a two room apartment, and Jake had already set up the second room as an office; and it would be ridiculous to just move all the shit out and clean it all up just for the time being. So John and Karkat had to sleep on the couch that had a fold out bed in the living room. It was okay, besides the fact that the couple didn't have that much privacy.<p>

Summer went by fast for the two of them, and sooner than they knew it, they were walking up to the UNC campus, looking down at their own pieces of paper.

"Those fuckasses," Karkat said, rolling his eyes, "they obviously fucked up our shit."

The two had already requested to stay in the same dorm, they probably fucked it up with two other people.

"It's okay, babe. Maybe it wouldn't be a great idea if we had the same dorm. We might get sick of each other," John said giggling. "come to my dorm after you drop your stuff off. Maybe we can go out somewhere."

Karkat's dorm was already preoccupied with his dorm mate; who was laying in his bed buried in his blankets so the only things that was visible was a giant mess of jet black hair on the pillow and a foot draped over the edge of the bed. Karkat scowled at all of the posters on the walls. They were all ICP or just jugalo related. The eighteen year old knew a lot of people like this guy at his school and he couldn't tolerate them one bit. They were all fucking drug addicts who didn't do jack shit all day. He was surprised to see one in college.

The Cancer groaned and plopped down on his bed, pulling out his phone.

_2up_

_HEY FUCKASS. YOU HERE YET? _

_Yep ju2t got here. Where2 your dorm? _

_219_

_okay 2weet iit2 only a couple dorm2 away from miine. Ii2 your roomate anyone cool? Mine2 just a cocky flamboyant a22hole. _

_NO, MINE'S JUST A FUCKING JUNKY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT._

_oh that 2uck2. I2 he at lea2t hot? Thi2 guy2 pretty fuckiing hot. _

_I DON'T FUCKING KNOW PROBABLY NOT. _

_You doiing anythiing later on?_

_YEAH ME AND JOHN WERE GONNA GO SOMEWHERE. I DON'T KNOW WHERE THOUGH._

_Can Ii come wiith you guy2? Ii really don't want to be 2tuck here wiith thi2 a22hole, no matter how hot he ii2._

_YEAH SURE BE AT DORM 248 IN LIKE GOD I DON'T KNOW AN HOUR OR TWO...NEVERMIND JUST TEXT JOHN ABOUT IT. _

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><p>"...Is John here?" Karkat asked the person whom was sitting on their bed. He knew that this was John's dorm, but he didn't see him.<p>

The boy on his bed looked up from his laptop. "Yeah he's in the um shower. I'm guessing you'e umm...K-karkat?"

Karkat smirked and walked in. "He's already talking about me?"

"Yeah. In fact, he uhh...hasn't shut up about you since he got here. " The boy explained, running a hand through his hair. He was probably a sophomore, maybe even a junior. He looked a little older than Karkat or John. Despite the fact that he was an amputee (Karkat could see that he had no legs from the knee down) and his obvious speech impediment, this guy seemed like he was bad ass. He had tan skin, dark brown hair styled in a mohawk, his arms were pretty muscular (chances are from wheeling himself around on his wheelchair), clad in a black leather jacket, and a golden septum ring that glistened each time light touched it.

"I take it you're his dorm mate?" Karkat asked, trying to break the awkward silence between the two.

"Uh...y-yeah. I'm Tavros Nitram."

_Tavros. Tavros. God, where the fuck have I heard his name before?_ Karkat asked himself as he sat down on John's bed. The name definatley rang a bell, but the eighteen year old knew for a fact that he's never met this kid in his life. And Tavros is not a very common name.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as the bathroom door opened, followed by a loud squeal, followed by John flinging himself on Karkat.

"Holy shit Egbert. You're acting like we haven't fucking seen each other in a fucking year."

"It feels like it." John exclaimed and nuzzled the cancer's chest.

"Okay great. Did Sollux text you yet?"

"Mhmm I told him to meet us here in abouuuuut thirty minutes!" John said and looked at Tavros. "Ohh sorry Tav, you wanna come with us?"

The amputee gave out a small smile while shaking his head, "It-It's okay. I gotta umm...go, to my...best bro's dorm in a few uhh...minutes, a-anyway. "

"Oh. Okay! Well you have fun, Kay? Oh wait, what time will you be back? Just so I know when to expect you and not think it's some killer or robber or something in that line."

"Umm...I don't, know...probably uhh...r-really late like...umm around, t-twelve or uh...maybe later."

"Okay! I'll probably be asleep at that time." John giggled and hugged onto Karkat's arm.

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><p>There was a small shopping center right next to the university, and luckily, all of the resteraunts there were pretty cheap. So they went to one italian resteraunt with very few people who weren't students of the university.<p>

"Tho guyth how wath your thummer?" Sollux asked as he took a sip of his Doctor Pepper.

"It was sooo fuuuun!" John said, starting his whole ramble about everything that they had did that summer. Karkat just stayed silent hearing his whole summer over again.

"Thoundth awethome. Mutht be relieved you don't have to deal with your dadth bullshit anymore."

Karkat nodded, "It was really wierd though. He always went off on how much he hates me or how it's all my fucking fault, and of course how much he couldn't wait for me to get the fuck out of his house so he doesn't have to deal with my shit anymore; but then right before I left...he tried to make me stay."

"Did he know that you were going?"

Karkat shook his head, "I didn't really think he'd give a shit. So I kept my mouth shut. But, as soon as I said that I was fucking leaving he fucking flipped his shit."

"Maybe it's because he can't mess with you anymore. Because like you were his way of taking out all of the stress that he had." John said.

"Maybe. But maybe it'th becauthe although he'th a total athhole around you he thtill loveth you becauthe your hith thon." Sollux explained.

Karkat sighed and shrugged, "I really don't care as long as I'm fucking far away from his fuckass."

The conversation then changed after that. Sollux had explained that his summer was pretty much nothing except going to random bars hitting on guys or staying home for weeks doing nothing but hacking and programming. He was a complete nerd throughout his whole life. Even in fifth grade while everyone was just learning basic computer skills, Sollux was already ahead, typing in random codes and hacking random blocked websites. He has almost got expelled from doing it multiple times in middle school and high school. But soon his computer skills paid off as he got many scholarships to different schools and is now majoring in computer programming. As for Karkat and John, they were sticking to biology.

They walked around the shopping center after they ate, seeing what other kinds of stores and resteraunts there were. Then they had met up with Dave, Terezi, and Kanaya and walked around campus with them, checking everything out and to see where some of their classes would be.

And for once, Karkat felt relieved and content, as if nothing that happened in his past was his fault. As if his life was normal and he had the perfect little happy family like he always thought he had when he was little. As if nothing in his life went wrong. As if he was completely happy. And he loved the feeling. He knew that it would be a good year.

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><p><strong>Welp, there's chapter one. No Gamzee yet D: but don't worry he'll be here eventually. Probably in the next chapter :3 <strong>

**Anyways, Reviews are my lifeline, and without them this story will die ._. so R&R! xD **


	3. Chapter 2: Nightmare

**So, after too many busy weeks of not being able to check my reviews, I checked them this morning and was like "Holy Shit people actually like this story." xD. So all day I've be revolving around this and AP European History homework. xP **

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Nightmare<strong>

Darkness swallowed him whole. No one was around; or that's what he thought at least. Karkat looked around, trying to get at least a little bit of glimpse of light. He could hear himself breathing, and what seemed like a small whisper. The eighteen year old was afraid to walk, he couldn't even feel his legs. In fact, he couldn't feel his body at all. The only thing he did feel was a liquid running down his face. Once it streamed down to his lips, Karkat widened his eyes as the taste of iron filled his mouth. He quickly wiped the liquid off, but it didn't go away. The blood was still streaming down his face and all of a sudden he felt a sharp pain through his hand. The Cancer looked down and saw himself holding a large piece of a broken mirror. It was covered in bright red blood. He gasped and dropped the mirror as his vision adjusted to the darkness. He felt a hand wrap around his throat as he was pulled from off the ground. The man who was holding him was his father, glaring hard up at him. "What the fuck did I kill you of trying to kill yourself, you son of a whore?" his father screamed. Karkat struggled to get out of the older man's grip. He gripped onto his hand tightly and began kicking him, screaming out a line of curse words as loud as he could.

"Karkat."

"FUCK YOU ASSHOLE LET GO OF ME!"

"Karkat!"

The Cancer screamed and thrashed his arms and legs around.

"KARKAT!"

He opened his eyes and sat up quickly. He was back in John's dorm. He looked up as he saw the door open and a figure approach and screamed his lungs out.

"Karkat! Calm down it's just Tavros." John said and held Karkat's face.

"Uhh...s-sorry..." Tavros stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's okay," John said, petting the trembling Cancer's hair, "he always has nightmares during thunderstorms."

The amputee gave a nod and wheeled himself to his bed. "Yeah...M-my uh, my friend's sort of like that too."

"_See_? You're not the only one!" John chirped, giving a small kiss on Karkat's forehead.

The Cancer just yawned and laid on his back. "Yeah well now I won't be able to fucking sleep."

"Just close your eyes and think about happy thoughts."

"Yeah. It's that fucking easy. No, John, it's not. Not everyone can shrug off a fucking nightmare like that." Karkat snapped, pulling the covers over his head.

"You don't have to get so hostile. I'm just trying to help." John murmured and laid next to him facing the wall.

This wasn't really rare in their relationship. It used to be, but as time went by, they began fighting more and more. John began getting more sensative towards Karkat's attitude which made the Cancer get irritated even more.

Karkat sighed and stared down at the pillows. He knew that now it would be another sleepless night.

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><p>In order to make room for his job, Karkat's first class had to be pretty early in the morning. Well, it could have been late at night as well, but when you're an outcast growing up in Manhatten, you kind of get a little paranoid of wondering around in the darkness. At least Karkat was.<p>

The Cancer then realized since he wasn't really expecting to spend the night, he didn't have a change of clothes. He quietly got up, not wanting to wake the other two sleeping figures, and made his way to his own dorm.

Karkat rolled his eyes as he found his roomate in the exact same position upon arriving yesterday. Although this time, instead of a foot being draped over the matress, it was a long, pale hand that seemed to be holding a bottle of some soda called 'Faygo'. The Cancer grimaced at the name; he remembered that the said drink used to be drunk by a certain someone; and it was the most repulsive drink Karkat has ever tasted in his entire life. He let out a grunt and went in the bathroom to change his clothes.

All he had to do in this class was take a bunch of notes, do a shit ton of homework, and then be take a quiz in the beginning of the class. He was absentmindedly writing down the notes that the teacher had written on the board, and that's when the Cancer had felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked over to his write, and saw that it was the girl who was just recently asleep. He had long dark brown hair, big round glasses, and big green eyes. "Hey, do you mind if I copy your notes?" she asked, smiling, which showed her big overbite.

Karkat just grimaced at her, "I'm not gonna let you fucking sleep for thirty fucking minutes and copy down all of my shit."

"They're notes, so they're technically not even yours. I don't mean to sleep in class; I'm narcoleptic."

The auburn eyed male thought for a minute. He knew about sleeping disorders, and narcolepsy certainly was not a fun one at all. He pushed the paper towards her, but enough so he could still keep up with the recent notes. The girl whispered "Thanks." as she began writing down notes.

She was too much like John that it scared the fuck out of Karkat. He began wondering if she was somehow related to him.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Jade Harley." the girl said, with a giant buck toothed grin.

"Are you related to John Egbert in anyway?"

"Yep. He's my brother. You know him?"

Karkat nodded, "Known him since I was seven."

"Awesome that he goes here," Jade said, scribbling down the last of Karkat's notes, "It'd be nice to finally meet him in person."

"You've never met him yet?"

"Well we lived with each other in Washington for only the first two years of our lives but then our parents got a divorce. My mum got full custody over me and dad over John and Jake. We moved to my grandpa's private island a couple months afterwards. But fortunately we ended up contacting each other five years ago from the wonders of the internet."

"Damn. John never told me about that."

"Well now you know!" Jade chirped.

Right after that class, since Karkat didn't have to be a work for another hour, and knowing that John didn't have any classes till that afternoon, he decided to reunite the two siblings.

He guessed it was a very heart warming moment, but Karkat would never admit it.

The rest of the day seemed long as loads of customers came in, and he was forced to hear Sollux bitch about his asshole for a roomate throughout his break; which Karkat didn't give a shit about. The only love life he cared for was his own.

After a good, long, eight hours, the Cancer made his way back to his empty dorm and began working on his homework. Once four hours of that passed, seeing that there was a storm heading towards their way, Karkat changed into some pajama pants and an old tshirt and laid in his bed, wrapping the blankets around himself. He hoped to god he wouldn't have a nightmare.

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><p>The bed seemed a little too soft for his taste. Not saying that the eighteen year old didn't like soft beds, but it felt a little odd. He slowly closed his eyes as he tried to fall back asleep. But something kept him up. An irritating <em>thud <em>that seemed to be right against his wall. He looked up only to not find himself in the dorm. Instead, he was in his room in his mother's old house. A shudder went down his spine and he thought of the dark, empty house. The thud wouldn't go away. Finally, after thinking through it in his mind for a little while, Karkat got up and crept his way through the hallway. It was completely dark, and the only think he heard besides the thud was the mini grandfather clock _tick. to-thud. tick. to-thud. tick. to-thud. _He slowly made his way into his mother's room. There his mother was. There her body was. Hanging by a rope around her neck. Her body swinging back and forth. Karkat backed away, until he felt that he ran into something. He turned around and his father was standing right in front of him holding a pistol to Karkat's head. And with the sound of the gun being cocked back, Karkat screamed.

Instead of feeling a sharp pain through his head, Karkat felt a hand to his shoulder, gently squeezing it.

He opened his eyes to see an extremely familiar face. The matted ebony hair,three long scars down his face, and widened indigo eyes with the same expression Karkat had.

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><p><strong>Ahhh cliffhangers. My favorite way of ending a chapter xDD. <strong>

**Important Note...**

**I hate to inform that you all are probably going to have to wait until June for the next update :/ .This New York field trip is coming and I need to get my shit straight and work on my grades. Going to this state has been my dream since I was four. So therefore, I gotta put all these stories aside, including Knife Called Lust, so don't expect any updates for about a month. I'm Reeeeally sorry that I left it at a cliffhnger. But I will try to update sooner than that **

**Reviews are my best friends :3**


	4. Chapter 3: Reunited

**Well damn. Sorry that took me forever. So since its December, I should be getting my AO3 account soon. **

**Follow me on tumblr if you're not yet (I changed the name for xmas) .com **

"G-Gamzee?" Karkat looked at the elder in total shock. It had to be Gamzee, there was absolutely no way of mistaking it.

The latter gave a warm, lazy smile, "'Sup, motherfucker? 'S been a while, hasn't it?"

"Y-yeah." Karkat didn't know if he was supposed to be mad, upset, scared, happy, or what. All of his emotions were completely mixed in nothing but shock and confusion.

"So, how's motherfuckin' life now?"

"Right now, better I guess." Karkat murmured.

"Glad to be away from your dad?"

"Fuck yes."

Gamzee chuckled "What about your mom how she been doin?"

"...She...Sh-she died..."

The latter's smile quickly faltered, "How?"

"Hanged herself...the day I found out that you left," Karkat hung his head and tried to hold in his tears. Nothing but sorrow was filling him up now, "Wh-where did you go, Gamzee? Wh-why didn't you tell me you left? I-I needed you...you weren't there..."

Gamzee let out a long sigh. "I thought it'd be better for you to just forget about me."

Karkat narrowed his eyes, "Forget about you? How? How the fuck was I supposed to forget about you when you were the reason why I wasn't fucking cutting myself or some emo shit like that?! How the fuck _would _I forget about you when the only person I could ever fucking turn to was _you_?! This fucking scar on my face, I got it when I fucking found out that you were gone. My father blamed my mother's death on _me_, like he does everytime something big happens! That was the most _horrible _time in my fucking _life_! And here you are, four long fucking years later, telling me that it would be _better _for me to _forget _about you?!"

"It's a lot more complicated than that, Karkles. I'm sorry."

"Complicated _how?! _I knew your whole life, just like you knew mine. I don't understand how it's fucking complicated. You seriously think I can forget about the guy who was practically my brother just fucking leave?!"

"Karkles, calm down bro. It's motherfuckin' late." Gamzee said in a calm voice.

Karkat sighed and closed his eyes. He still couldn't believe it. It all just hit him too hard. Gamzee leaving without a trace? Now the asshole's right in fucking front of him acting like the relationship between the two was just some type of friendship that they didn't know anything about each other? That instead they talked about some random shit like video games or computers like he and Sollux? No. Fucking _no. _Gamzee wouldn't act as if like Karkat knew jack shit about him.

"Just tell me why you fucking left," Karkat whispered, tears already welding up in his eyes. He hated how much of an overemotional bastard he was. "please."

The elder pulled the auburn haired teen into a warm embrace. An embrace that they've both been longing for four years. "I'll tell you. But, you gotta be motherfuckin' patient for a lil' bit."

"Why? Why not now?"

"'Cause, bro. I'm motherfuckin' tired." Gamzee slurred, leaning his head on Karkat's shoulder.

"Will you tell me tomorrow?"

"Maybe. 'S a lotta motherfuckin' dramatic bullshit that I don' wanna dump on you."

The younger nodded, still holding onto Gamzee as tight as he could.

The two ended up falling asleep in Karkat's bed attatched to each other. Gamzee insisted that he wanted to sleep in his own bed, but the fact that they finally were united and the storm was definately not dying down, he was convinced to sleep with the auburn haired teen.

And Karkat held onto him tight through the whole night. He lost him once, and he couldn't afford to lose him again.


End file.
